Intercession

Beware of getting ahead of God by your very desire to do His will. We run ahead of Him in a thousand and one activities, becoming so burdened with people and problems that we don’t worship God, and we fail to intercede. If a burden and its resulting pressure come upon us while we are not in an attitude of worship, it will only produce a hardness toward God and despair in our own souls. God continually introduces us to people in whom we have no interest, and unless we are worshiping God the natural tendency is to be heartless toward them. We give them a quick verse of Scripture, like jabbing them with a spear, or leave them with a hurried, uncaring word of counsel before we go. A heartless Christian must be a terrible grief to our Lord.

Are our lives in the proper place so that we may participate in the intercession of our Lord and the Holy Spirit?

-Oswald Chambers

Hello~

One thing that has been on my mind for the last couple of days was Matthew 25: 31- 46-

31 “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fireprepared for the devil and his angels. 42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

This verse has constantly been on my mind because the last thing that I want to do is to ignore Jes7s. God really has His way of introducing people in my life whom I have absolutely no interest- people whom I really can't love with my human strength. Remember how I said that I faced a lot of racism in my previous post? There are a lot of Chinese people who come over to Jordan and sell cheap electronics. So some people here think that I came here to sell cheap cell phones. This doesn't affect me too much, but one thing that really angers me is that some men think that we are prostitutes because of the fact that we don't wear hijab. They would hurl filthy words at us, and it really makes me feel disgusting despite of the fact that I'm fully covered up from neck to toe. Right? How can I possibly love these people if they I'm really easy because I'm smiling at them?

While I'm in them midst of this struggle, I have been experiencing the most intimate time of worship. My pr^yer request is for Him to hear worship that He wants to hear at this time. I would be walking down the street, and I can't help but to lift Him up because apparently, that's what He wants to hear. I still don't know how to treat the people that I meet as if I'm treating Jes7s, but He is guiding my every steps, and I'm really asking that he would open my eyes to see people as he sees them. 

내가 밟는 모든땅- 주를 예배하게 하소서. 주의 보혈로 덮어지게 하소서. 

Lord, make every land that I step on praise You. Cover this land with your blood.

예수닮기를, 예수 보기를, 예수만 높히길 내가 원하네. 

To be like Jes7s, to look upon Jes7s, to lift Jes7s, and Jes7s only- is what I truly want. 

Send me your email address!

Hello All! If you want da deets on what's going on is Jordan, please send me your email address-
Thank you!

A week before my spring break

It's so hard to write a blog, especially when I have to be careful about what I write about. It's definitely something that I procrastinate too frequently, but I have a valid reason... we have super janky internet services up in here :( seriously... you guys do not know how fortunate you are back in the states :P 

Anyways, last week has been a bit difficult for me. I face a lot of racism on a daily basis, and I'm usually the type of person to brush off little things, but these 'little things' over the last two months have been building up and somewhat exploded last week. Asians here in Jordan are frequently made fun of, but being a female escalates things to a different level. I face constant verbal harassment, racist remarks, rocks are thrown at me by younger kids, and men following me with questionable intentions other than mere "curiosity for a foreigner". At the same time, the language barrier as well as the significant power differences between the two genders prevents me from confronting them. I am expected to stare at the ground, and walk on- ignoring my emotions. 

Because I am still a student here in Jordan, I have a lot of school work to do, alongside with our team meetings*, serving* the UJ campus and serving* the Syrians. I haven't had the time to really unwind myself, and I think these racist annoyances got to me last week. 

I made excuses before Him, failing miserably to rest in Him, but He has his ways of restoring me back again. I had a skype chat with one of the unnies that I really respect, and I told her about everything. After listening to all of my complaints, she quietly showed me a video on her phone- a recording of me playing the guitar and singing that "Chr*st is enough for me. Chr*st is enough for me- everything that I need is in You, EVERYTHING I need. I have decided to follow J*sus, No turning back, no turning back". 

I have decided to follow J*sus, no turning back.

But no matter what my emotional status is right now, He is still doing crazy things on the UJ campus. Serving the campus and talking to other M*slims about my belief* is very interesting. I feel His spirit whenever I say the name "Yeesu Messieh". Muslims refuse to believe that J*sus is the Son of God, but whenever I say that "Yeesu ibn Allah" (J*sus is the Son of God), I think I know what it means when God is empowering me, rather than my own logical thoughts or whatnot. 

Regarding my host family, I've been talking to my host sister. Even at the age of 12, she is very religious, and she absolutely LOVES Allah. She knows more Quran than anyone else I've ever talked to, and whenever I share, she always responds with what the Muslims believe, and what it says in the Quran. 

I also meet up with other students on campus multiple times a week. Sharing my testimony with them is really powerful. But more than that, there is power in the name of J*sus.

(by the way- re willing to if you guys are willing to pr*y for the souls that I am meeting up with, please send me your email address ^^ Pr*yer is so necessary right now for Him to move- shaking this place with his word.)

For many of the students, college is the place where they find freedom, and many are open to this idea of J*sus. However, changing their lifestyle is the hardest part. At times, it's very easy to be discouraged by the seemingly impossible disciple making, but ......

1 Kings 19:

And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

10 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

14 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

15 The Lord said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.”

AMEN!

Even in this seemingly impossible place, He has reserved SEVEN thousand people in Israel who were completely pure in his sight.

So why do I ever have to worry? He is the G*d who WILL receive all of the glory and praise even in the midst of Jordan. 

Spring Rain

One of my favorite things in the whole wide world is spring rain. It's so refreshing, and I love listening to thunder- the phrase "spring rain" sounds and even smells super romantic. 

However, it's not really all that same in Jordan. I love this land of Jordan, but the city planning here is not in its top quality. You cannot walk around in Jordan because sidewalks are non existent. Actually, nobody walks around. There are potholes everywhere, and this place has no drainage system whatsoever. This week was living in a giant mud pool. More so than the rain in and of itself, you get wet because of the water sprayed by the cars passing by you. Therefore, this week was not my happiest week. Wet and cold, not my top choice. 

OOOH oooh ohohoohhoohoh this was another funny thing that I found hilarious this week. Actually, I found this out a month ago, but I'm still going to write about it.

McDonald's is a place that I go when I'm feeling rich. A place of free wifi and gourmet American food up in here. The price is around what you would expect- similar to the states, but everything else here is so cheap ( I can get shwarma sandwich for less than a dinar, or a falefel sandwich for .35 JD, whereas a Mcdonalds sandwich would be upwards from 2 JD). McDonald's is perceived as the cool place where all of the college students go to work part time jobs or to hang out. I see people going on dates to McDonald's. I know, right? Hilarious. 

March13

Howdy?

I'm guessing most of you guys are in preparation for the Haiti Mssn trip! I'm so excited for you guys! His name will be lifted among ALL of the nations.

Things have been normalizing... to say the least. I've grown accustomed to most of the things going on in Jordan as well as my school schedule, so I'm guessing my culture shock phase is finally over. 

Things have been really busy over the last couple of weeks. I moved out of my first home stay, and my current home stay family has six kids- all around my age. My school program had multiple trips to Petra, Wadi Rum, BIblical Site Tour (I went to where J was baptized, Mt. Nebo- where Moses died, and several Madaba churches), and the Dead Sea. Midterms are rolling around the corner, and in two weeks, spring break starts! 

The school for Syrian refugees have finally started! PTL! These kids are precious, but you could definitely tell that their situation back home have affected them in ways unimaginable. Each one of them are so lovable, and they all crave my attention like crazy. 

My team in Jordan (that serve in the school) have been meeting up every morning to pr*y for the University of Jordan. We've been meditating on Acts, and we're asking Him to make His word come alive in our daily lives. In Acts, His disciples go around talking about J, and what he has done for all of us, sugarcoating nothing. No matter how offensive or uncomfortable the messages were, people were all the more hungry to know about this goodN. 

No matter where we are, let's be faithful to His calling~

Maranatha J3sus

Taboo things

Living in the Middle East as a girl is very different from living in the States or any other westernized countries.

1) A lot of these Middle easterners have such a promiscuous idea of Westerners, and they think that the TV shows or movies from Hollywood depict our actual lives. Therefore, the males naturally have this curiosity for foreign females, especially when you say that you are from America. Therefore, it is more than important to show them that we are not like that.
2)  A lot of random vendors or taxi drivers will ask me if I have a husband, to which I respond "yes", to drop off the conversation. It just gets straight up weird if you tell them no. They think that by you not having a husband, or boyfriend, you are immediately attracted to them. It's just weird.
3) I am not allowed to smile at males. When I didn't know any better, I would just smile to be polite, and they were so happy. I realized that smiling means that you're attracted to them. whattheheck.
4) I am not allowed to touch my hair in front of males.
I orient my mouth in this special manner to blow the hair that falls in front of my face.

By the time I go back to the states, I might be this antisocial little freak who is super awkward in front of males .

On a happy note, you know what the cutest thing is?
When guys hold hands. No, they're not gay, but it's actually the cutest thing ever when you see two macho Arabs linking arms, or holding hands and walking. That's their way of showing closeness. SO CUTE ><

I'm still not used to the people kissing each other on their cheeks when they meet. You kiss multiple times on each cheek.. but that's too much kissing for me....

Update on how I am living

Hello~

I'm jumping all over the place with this blog thing- sharing some serious things, from just straight up ranting about my life. Conclusion- I don't know how to work this blog. Anyways, if you happen to be curious about what my living situation right now is, I will soon post pictures of my new home with my host family. 

I am living in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in Amman. (yupp! I lucked out big time), and I live right in front of a mall that freaking looks like a spaceship. My neighborhood looks somewhat like the rich Chicago suburbia, but I've gotta say... it's much MUCH better. It's got this Middle Eastern feel to it, with all the buildings being limestone and whatnot. 

My host family is wonderful- My family consist of host mom, host sister, and a house maid who lives with us. So it's an all girls house. 

I have the master bedroom, which is bigger than any of the rooms in the house. I also sleep in one of the biggest beds I've ever seen, fully accommodating my unique rolling sleeping habits. 

This is absolutely a huge shift from what I have been seeing for the first couple of weeks that I've been in Jordan. As much as I love my host family, I really do miss the closeness of families that I have met. 

What else can I rant about today...

So I officially started school this week! Yay! 

Anyways, since I don't want to pay the 2.5 JD that costs one way to get from home to my school, my housemate and I take the bus. I know that 2.5 JD may not seem much at first, but if you live here in Jordan, and understand that you get shwarma for .65 cents, as well as anything else for less than a JD, you will find that taxi cost to be obnoxious in the long term. We wake up at 6:00am, and get out of the house by 7:00am. We miraculously make our way to the bus stop, professionally dodging the crazy taxi drivers who have nothing better to do than to run you over. I have this native hitch-hiking pose that stops almost any bus that go past my way. We go to Mujama Swelieh, where we get on another bus that takes us to Jammea Urdonia (University of Jordan). Then, we walk up this hill to get to Princess Sumaya University, facing all kinds of internal tests and trials of whether or not we should get a cab up this hill or not. By this time (around 7:40 am) we have burned off all of our breakfast calories.  

That is my morning, and the rest of the day, I just live it.

On the weekends, I go see the Syrian kids who are absolutely ADORABLE and uncontrollably crazy. 

Seriously, these kids are wild. Even the moms who I've met.... they're pretty uncontrollable. 

Anyways, I've realized that you have just got to show them how genuine you are about loving them, and everything else comes naturally. 

Here's another thing that I deal with on a daily basis- racist remarks.

Call me "Chinese" or say "Nihao" to me in the states, and I should be ready to hurt you because of your ignorant racism (not to that extent). Or so the American ways have taught me. However, why are we, as Asians, so defensive about this in the first place? Because it's racist? But we are clearly Asian. What is the line between racism and plain observation? We clearly have small eyes, and put me right next to any other Asian girl, and anyone who have not been exposed to Asians won't be able to distinguish us apart, no matter how numerous our distinct features may be. 

It is true that it gets super annoying living in Jordan, having to hear "Nihao" everywhere you go, but if I place myself in their shoes, some of these people who say "Nihao" to me, genuinely want to say hello to me in what they perceive to be my native tongue. and how the heck would they know if I'm Japanese, Korean or Chinese? When I was a little kid back in Korea, I thought that getting in a "hello" to a white foreigner would be so cool. so how are these people any different? 

War zone in my vicinity

I live in a land affectionately called as "the heart of the Arabs". This is the land of the refugees, where people from Syria, Iraq, Palestine, and other countries mingle in with the pure Jordanians to create this interesting dynamic that I face on a daily basis.

I'm still in my honeymoon phase (even after three solid weeks of being here), where everything in Jordan is still fresh and instilled in my mind as a place where strongholds need to be broken. However, I am afraid for that time sooner or later, when it will be so easy to forget the whole purpose of me being here- to remind these lost souls of this one hope. A couple of times, I have caught myself going about my daily routine, being the same Soo that I was back in the states, turning my empathy on and off solely dependent on what I feel.

Jerusalem is two hours away from where I am, and Damascus, Syria is only three hours away. The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is so tangible in Jordan, and regarding the Syrian conflict-  I just met a Syrian refugee who fled Syria six months ago from the current situation. You may think that that might have been the highlight of my day, yet half the people that I meet on the streets are Syrians who are emotionally and physically distraught. So many people come to Jordan, remaining in their bystander mode, where war-zone is something that is real, yet not relevant enough to do anything about it. But then you ask- what can we do?

We can pray. If His words from James 5:16 is real, He will carry out His promise.

Official start of my study abroad in Jordan

This week was my orientation week, where we were locked up at a 4 star hotel (I'm not complaining), and were overly fed (Alhamdulilah!).
On the first day (the 26th), I arrived at the hotel, still angry at this SUPER creepy taxi driver (who kept on asking me about my habibi) who tried to rip me off because I was staying at this four star hotel, but I stood my ground like I always do. Anyways, I was really sick and half-dead, so I went up to my room right away. I slept my flu off... well... almost...

BUT this is not what I want to talk about. At the orientation, small talk about random crap was more than necessary to "look friendly", and the most frequent conversation that I had to bring up was how I was in Jordan for the last couple of weeks. Since I was here almost three weeks before they arrived here, they naturally asked me what I was doing here, and where I slept.

Here is what I was doing for the last couple of weeks to quench your burning questions.

I came to Jordan because God gave me a heart for the Syrian people. Don't ask me why. So I came to Jordan because I really wanted to meet these Syrian people who were living as refugees in this land. My group and I went to the countryside of Jordan, and just walked around, praying for the very land that we were stepping on, that they may have hope. The people in the countryside have never seen foreigners before, so we were the attraction of whatever village we went into. Kids would come running towards us, screaming "Welcome to Jordan", or "What's your name?", and many times, it would be a bit overwhelming, but God would lead us into a home, where we made friends with the families there. They would ask us if we wanted to stay for the night, and we would say, "Mumkin? (can we?)" and they would be so honored that we would stay. so basically, I spent the last couple of weeks walking around, making friends, and sleeping at their places.

Their living conditions weren't the top notch, but I was welcomed into their homes like one of their own families. I wasn't able to take a hot shower for the last two week and a half, and my hair was  떡져ed to the max. (to those who don't understand Korean, you don't need to know what happened to my hair). Many families that we went to had an outside bathroom, and of course, no toilet nor toilet paper. I WENT ALL NATURAL, PEOPLE. The bathroom consisted of a hole. I had to use my balance as well as my butt-eye coordination to aim at the hole every time my lower tummy did the little mating call, or whatnot. In one of the FO that I went with MnA team, there was a hole in the ceiling (obviously not for your bathroom needs), which we believed was their way of making a window. I was a bit concerned about the sanitation issue, as anyone would after having to kill numerous spiders before you sleep right next to their grave, but no one got sick. These people that we met didn't have much, yet insisted on giving us, strangers that they have never seen before,  the best. Their happiness wasn't corrupted by materialistic wealth. Their genuine heart of welcoming us was real.

A midst of frustrations, I enjoyed and appreciated every moment  of my trip. However, as soon as my school orientation started, the environment changed drastically. All of the sudden, I was surrounded by educated people, served by hoteliers at a multiple fork dining table. Rather than sitting around the floor, eating mansef with our bare unwashed hands, I was now required to place the napkin on my lap, eating proper with the correct fork. The orientation at the hotel passed by quickly, and I am now at my host family's house, who are undoubtedly the top 5% in the whole Jordan. They gave me a master bedroom with a bathroom attached to it. My room that I have right now is bigger than my classroom that I sat in for Arabic lesson today. It really is a new experience for me to be pampered like this, but yesterday night, I was laying in bed thinking about how many Syrian kids I can fit into my room who probably don't even know what hot shower feels like. Kids in Zatari who are cramped up on the dirt floor, couple of miles away from where I am right now. So I'm praying, asking for guidance of what I can do.. because I don't want to live a life knowing what is going around me, yet not doing anything.

*** the details of my FO have been left out because of security purposes. I'll tell you all about it if you want to waste your international phone minutes on calling me ;)

First post in Amman, Jordan :)

It has been a little more than two weeks since I arrived in Jordan. There are a lot of things that God has been reminding me.

1) God does not use experience, but rather, He works through His spirit and his will. His will is the manifestation of power. Before him, nothing matters except for the cross. We are called to be committed to Him. Rather than doing something good, or having many talents, God is looking for people whose hearts are committed to Him.

2) One repetitive thing that kept on happening was whenever I felt tired, even to the point where I was sincerely thinking about resting back at the hotel, those were the days when God poured out all the way more in the souls that I got to met.

3) being an ambassador of Christ is literally one of the hardest thing that I’ve tried and failed at. Becoming like Jesus is impossible, and it makes complete sense that I;m trying in vain because I can never reach the perfection that God requires. However, John 15 continuously pops up in my mind- that I am to always abide in Him. When I move by his power rather than on my own, God works. That is far greater than anything I can ever accomplish in my lifetime.

4) In everything that we do, we carry the name of J*sus Chr*st, and there is power in the name.

5) The word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thought and attitudes of heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God;s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. (Hebrews 4:12-13). I have a tendency to think of my frustrations as persecution, but truth be told, they are nothing compared to what Jesus; disciples faced during the first century. These ancestors of our faith had something that was not of them, but something that was of the heavenly realm. Their strength and their boldness in front of death was not from human origin. They had the cross, and they had His word, and that was more than enough to sustain them through their trials and suffering. I have been asking for boldness in my time in Jordan, but I still didn’t think about the aftermath of asking for such boldness. 

6) I love to feed on that love from people, sometimes to a point where I would give up sharing the full Gospel because of the fear of them turning away from me. Do I have the full Gospel in me? If so, why do I limit Him whose words are living and active, sharper than any double edged sword, just because of that possibility that the soul that I am talking to may feel uncomfortable? As I was thinking God's Words is power. Even families that have been having fun, getting know us and opening their homes to us, strangers, shut their hearts towards us as soon as we started to open the word of God. Why do we complicate our lives by adding knowledge to our faith that we never apply? The message of the cross is foolishness. The people of darkness will never understand, nor comprehend our bold and stupid acts of proclaiming the coming King.

7) We proclaim that we are the fragrance of Chr*st, which smells like death to those who are dying, but it is life to those who believe. There are so much stronghold to be broken all over JLand. We break these bondage with worship. When we worship, the place is shaken. As they hear the name Jesus, their hearts are shaken. J*sus alone shakes the things that cannot be shaken.