A week before my spring break

It's so hard to write a blog, especially when I have to be careful about what I write about. It's definitely something that I procrastinate too frequently, but I have a valid reason... we have super janky internet services up in here :( seriously... you guys do not know how fortunate you are back in the states :P 

Anyways, last week has been a bit difficult for me. I face a lot of racism on a daily basis, and I'm usually the type of person to brush off little things, but these 'little things' over the last two months have been building up and somewhat exploded last week. Asians here in Jordan are frequently made fun of, but being a female escalates things to a different level. I face constant verbal harassment, racist remarks, rocks are thrown at me by younger kids, and men following me with questionable intentions other than mere "curiosity for a foreigner". At the same time, the language barrier as well as the significant power differences between the two genders prevents me from confronting them. I am expected to stare at the ground, and walk on- ignoring my emotions. 

Because I am still a student here in Jordan, I have a lot of school work to do, alongside with our team meetings*, serving* the UJ campus and serving* the Syrians. I haven't had the time to really unwind myself, and I think these racist annoyances got to me last week. 

I made excuses before Him, failing miserably to rest in Him, but He has his ways of restoring me back again. I had a skype chat with one of the unnies that I really respect, and I told her about everything. After listening to all of my complaints, she quietly showed me a video on her phone- a recording of me playing the guitar and singing that "Chr*st is enough for me. Chr*st is enough for me- everything that I need is in You, EVERYTHING I need. I have decided to follow J*sus, No turning back, no turning back". 

I have decided to follow J*sus, no turning back.

But no matter what my emotional status is right now, He is still doing crazy things on the UJ campus. Serving the campus and talking to other M*slims about my belief* is very interesting. I feel His spirit whenever I say the name "Yeesu Messieh". Muslims refuse to believe that J*sus is the Son of God, but whenever I say that "Yeesu ibn Allah" (J*sus is the Son of God), I think I know what it means when God is empowering me, rather than my own logical thoughts or whatnot. 

Regarding my host family, I've been talking to my host sister. Even at the age of 12, she is very religious, and she absolutely LOVES Allah. She knows more Quran than anyone else I've ever talked to, and whenever I share, she always responds with what the Muslims believe, and what it says in the Quran. 

I also meet up with other students on campus multiple times a week. Sharing my testimony with them is really powerful. But more than that, there is power in the name of J*sus.

(by the way- re willing to if you guys are willing to pr*y for the souls that I am meeting up with, please send me your email address ^^ Pr*yer is so necessary right now for Him to move- shaking this place with his word.)

For many of the students, college is the place where they find freedom, and many are open to this idea of J*sus. However, changing their lifestyle is the hardest part. At times, it's very easy to be discouraged by the seemingly impossible disciple making, but ......

1 Kings 19:

And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

10 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

14 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

15 The Lord said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16 Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17 Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.”

AMEN!

Even in this seemingly impossible place, He has reserved SEVEN thousand people in Israel who were completely pure in his sight.

So why do I ever have to worry? He is the G*d who WILL receive all of the glory and praise even in the midst of Jordan.