Official start of my study abroad in Jordan

This week was my orientation week, where we were locked up at a 4 star hotel (I'm not complaining), and were overly fed (Alhamdulilah!).
On the first day (the 26th), I arrived at the hotel, still angry at this SUPER creepy taxi driver (who kept on asking me about my habibi) who tried to rip me off because I was staying at this four star hotel, but I stood my ground like I always do. Anyways, I was really sick and half-dead, so I went up to my room right away. I slept my flu off... well... almost...

BUT this is not what I want to talk about. At the orientation, small talk about random crap was more than necessary to "look friendly", and the most frequent conversation that I had to bring up was how I was in Jordan for the last couple of weeks. Since I was here almost three weeks before they arrived here, they naturally asked me what I was doing here, and where I slept.

Here is what I was doing for the last couple of weeks to quench your burning questions.

I came to Jordan because God gave me a heart for the Syrian people. Don't ask me why. So I came to Jordan because I really wanted to meet these Syrian people who were living as refugees in this land. My group and I went to the countryside of Jordan, and just walked around, praying for the very land that we were stepping on, that they may have hope. The people in the countryside have never seen foreigners before, so we were the attraction of whatever village we went into. Kids would come running towards us, screaming "Welcome to Jordan", or "What's your name?", and many times, it would be a bit overwhelming, but God would lead us into a home, where we made friends with the families there. They would ask us if we wanted to stay for the night, and we would say, "Mumkin? (can we?)" and they would be so honored that we would stay. so basically, I spent the last couple of weeks walking around, making friends, and sleeping at their places.

Their living conditions weren't the top notch, but I was welcomed into their homes like one of their own families. I wasn't able to take a hot shower for the last two week and a half, and my hair was  떡져ed to the max. (to those who don't understand Korean, you don't need to know what happened to my hair). Many families that we went to had an outside bathroom, and of course, no toilet nor toilet paper. I WENT ALL NATURAL, PEOPLE. The bathroom consisted of a hole. I had to use my balance as well as my butt-eye coordination to aim at the hole every time my lower tummy did the little mating call, or whatnot. In one of the FO that I went with MnA team, there was a hole in the ceiling (obviously not for your bathroom needs), which we believed was their way of making a window. I was a bit concerned about the sanitation issue, as anyone would after having to kill numerous spiders before you sleep right next to their grave, but no one got sick. These people that we met didn't have much, yet insisted on giving us, strangers that they have never seen before,  the best. Their happiness wasn't corrupted by materialistic wealth. Their genuine heart of welcoming us was real.

A midst of frustrations, I enjoyed and appreciated every moment  of my trip. However, as soon as my school orientation started, the environment changed drastically. All of the sudden, I was surrounded by educated people, served by hoteliers at a multiple fork dining table. Rather than sitting around the floor, eating mansef with our bare unwashed hands, I was now required to place the napkin on my lap, eating proper with the correct fork. The orientation at the hotel passed by quickly, and I am now at my host family's house, who are undoubtedly the top 5% in the whole Jordan. They gave me a master bedroom with a bathroom attached to it. My room that I have right now is bigger than my classroom that I sat in for Arabic lesson today. It really is a new experience for me to be pampered like this, but yesterday night, I was laying in bed thinking about how many Syrian kids I can fit into my room who probably don't even know what hot shower feels like. Kids in Zatari who are cramped up on the dirt floor, couple of miles away from where I am right now. So I'm praying, asking for guidance of what I can do.. because I don't want to live a life knowing what is going around me, yet not doing anything.

*** the details of my FO have been left out because of security purposes. I'll tell you all about it if you want to waste your international phone minutes on calling me ;)

First post in Amman, Jordan :)

It has been a little more than two weeks since I arrived in Jordan. There are a lot of things that God has been reminding me.

1) God does not use experience, but rather, He works through His spirit and his will. His will is the manifestation of power. Before him, nothing matters except for the cross. We are called to be committed to Him. Rather than doing something good, or having many talents, God is looking for people whose hearts are committed to Him.

2) One repetitive thing that kept on happening was whenever I felt tired, even to the point where I was sincerely thinking about resting back at the hotel, those were the days when God poured out all the way more in the souls that I got to met.

3) being an ambassador of Christ is literally one of the hardest thing that I’ve tried and failed at. Becoming like Jesus is impossible, and it makes complete sense that I;m trying in vain because I can never reach the perfection that God requires. However, John 15 continuously pops up in my mind- that I am to always abide in Him. When I move by his power rather than on my own, God works. That is far greater than anything I can ever accomplish in my lifetime.

4) In everything that we do, we carry the name of J*sus Chr*st, and there is power in the name.

5) The word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thought and attitudes of heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God;s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account. (Hebrews 4:12-13). I have a tendency to think of my frustrations as persecution, but truth be told, they are nothing compared to what Jesus; disciples faced during the first century. These ancestors of our faith had something that was not of them, but something that was of the heavenly realm. Their strength and their boldness in front of death was not from human origin. They had the cross, and they had His word, and that was more than enough to sustain them through their trials and suffering. I have been asking for boldness in my time in Jordan, but I still didn’t think about the aftermath of asking for such boldness. 

6) I love to feed on that love from people, sometimes to a point where I would give up sharing the full Gospel because of the fear of them turning away from me. Do I have the full Gospel in me? If so, why do I limit Him whose words are living and active, sharper than any double edged sword, just because of that possibility that the soul that I am talking to may feel uncomfortable? As I was thinking God's Words is power. Even families that have been having fun, getting know us and opening their homes to us, strangers, shut their hearts towards us as soon as we started to open the word of God. Why do we complicate our lives by adding knowledge to our faith that we never apply? The message of the cross is foolishness. The people of darkness will never understand, nor comprehend our bold and stupid acts of proclaiming the coming King.

7) We proclaim that we are the fragrance of Chr*st, which smells like death to those who are dying, but it is life to those who believe. There are so much stronghold to be broken all over JLand. We break these bondage with worship. When we worship, the place is shaken. As they hear the name Jesus, their hearts are shaken. J*sus alone shakes the things that cannot be shaken.